nocturnal state.

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads...

I love that song.

I am willing to put money down on the fact that this September of 2006 is probably one of the most chaotic months of my life. i'm not complaining, just filling you in. normally, this would be the point in the entry where I'd go into detail about every little smidgeon of a detail, but I'm not going to. I experienced it once, why relive it again?

I guess the point in bringing this chaos up at all is that in one short month (which still isn't over) I have gone from the utmost confidence and optomisim to the darkest depths of motivation, fragile to anybody asking me if I was okay, getting watery-eyed at the thought of it all... and still managing to go to school and get through life.

"That's life," you say. DUH, I know, man. I'm just proud of myself for handling it so well. Of course, I naturally owe thanks to my family, Vix*, and S* (and S's friends). Part of me wishes a lot that happened this month had never occurred... but then I wouldn't have had the epiphany that is S come my way.

I cleaned my apartment tonight, rearranged the bedroom furniture (which means I rotated the bed ninety degrees and put it up on cube cinderblocks for extra storage room), and reorganized the closet so I could make the bedroom floor absolutely clean. AHHHHH, a messy weight has been lifted! I love that fresh-clean feeling. Oh! I also washed the bed sheets and redressed the bed, cleaned the bathroom... took out a lot of trash/things I no longer want, and put my past in a box. (It had to be done for my sanity).

Tonight was a football game night and I didn't get to go. I was at school for a few hours this afternoon working in the woodshop with my partner on our second load frame (see the Architektin journal for a similar project) and then S was busy so I came home and cleaned as mentioned above.

Now it's rolling towards 5 a.m. and I have to be to school around noon to continue working on the load frame. So, I shall stop this here and hopefully someone might identify with how I've been feeling. Or not.

Why don't you call me when you're sober.

*pseudonyms for privacy