Jeebus Saves

Save me, Jeebus!

They haven't seen the best of Jeebus yet!

Mmm, Coke-ham. *puke*

WATER
1. 75% of Americans are chronically dehydrated. (Likely applies to half world population)
2. In 37% of Americans, the thirst mechanism is so weak that it is often mistaken for hunger.
3. Even MILD dehydration will slow down one's metabolism as much as 3%.
4. One glass of water will shut down midnight hunger pangs for almost 100% of the dieters studied in a U-Washington study.
5. Lack of water, the #1 trigger of daytime fatigue.
6. Preliminary research indicates that 8-10 glasses of water a day could significantly ease back and joint pain for up to 80% of sufferers.
7. A mere 2% drop in body water can trigger fuzzy short-term memory, trouble with basic math, and difficulty focusing on the computer screen or on a printed page.
8. Drinking 5 glasses of water daily decreases the risk of colon cancer by 45%, plus it can slash the risk of breast cancer by 79%, and one is 50% less likely to develop bladder cancer.

COKE
1. In many states (in the USA) the highway patrol carries two gallons of Coke in the truck to remove blood from the highway after a car accident.
2. You can put a T-bone steak in a bowl of coke and it will be gone in two days.
3. To clean a toilet: Pour a can of Coca-Cola into the toilet bowl and let the "real thing" sit for one hour, then flush clean. The citric acid in Coke removes stains from vitreous china.
4. To remove rust spots from chrome car bumpers: Rub the bumper with a rumpled-up piece of aluminium foil dipped in Coca-Cola.
5. To clean corrosion from car battery terminals: Pour a can of Coca-Cola over the terminals to bubble away the corrosion.
6. To loosen a rusted bolt: Applying a cloth soaked in Coca-Cola to the rusted bolt for several minutes.
7. To bake a moist ham: Empty a can of Coca-Cola into the baking pan, wrap the ham in aluminium foil, and bake. Thirty minutes before the ham is finished, remove the foil, allowing the drippings to mix with the Coke for a sumptuous brown gravy.
8. To remove grease from clothes: Empty a can of coke into a load of greasy clothes, add detergent, and run through a regular cycle. The Coca-Cola will help loosen grease stains. It will also clean road haze from your windshield.

With all this in mind I will also add this for Your Info
1. The active ingredient in Coke is phosphoric acid. Its pH is 2.8. It will dissolve a nail in about 4 days. Phosphoric acid also leaches calcium from bones and is a major contributor to the rising increase in osteoporosis.
2. To carry Coca-Cola syrup (the concentrate) the commercial truck must use the hazardous material place cards reserved for Highly corrosive materials.
3. The distributors of coke have been using it to clean the engines of their trucks for about 20 years!

Now the question is, would you like a glass of water or coke? WATER OR COKE?

--------------------------------------
"Uh, pack of cigarettes?"

What. A. Moron.

I was driving on University Blvd.
today to get some lunch. As some
of you know, Univ. Blvd. only has
back-in parking. Why, I do not
know - it's very dumb. Anyway, so
I've provided a little diagram of
the area where I encountered an
absolute moron today.

Have a look. (click for larger image)

Here's how it went:

I (1) was driving down Univ. Blvd., put on my right turn signal (as everyone does), and stopped with my bumper just in front of the space (2) I was going to back into. This mini-suv pulls up behind me (3) and stops. I am sitting there with my reverse lights on and since they aren't moving, I'm like, "Well, I'm backing up. I know I've got room, but they're going to freak." I was right. I got within 6 inches of the corner of their front bumper, but I was completely clear of collision, and as I'm backing in they honk at me and, when there's enough room, speed off.

Idiot.

Zoo Enforcement

"Ma'am, don't make us say it again.
Get back in your pen."

(click for larger image)

Sumpn's Goin' Down In Tuxon.

Wind.

Thunder. Constant, with five-second breaks.

Sunshine.

Death rolled in at 4 o'clock.

It's going to be a great night.

:o)

I love funny.

We have these computer labs on campus called OSCR Labs (pronounced "Oscar") and they do free unlimited printing on Thursdays. Anyway, their site had a jobs link so I clicked it and this is what it read:

Jobs@OSCR

The Office of Student Computing Resources is a great place to work. So come work for us. It's your duty. We can change your grades if you don't too.

I thought this was SOOOOO funny because it's something I would've posted if it was my job. :o) Now I want to work there.

All your face belong to us.

--------------------------------
Bear Attack
Bird Plane
Crazy Grandma
Stupid Sheep (Aw.)

Crapshack.

So I'm back in Crapshack.
And by Crapshack I mean The Wastelands.
And by The Wastelands I mean Tucson.

Today was the first day of school. I awoke at 530a, packed R-box, and headed towards Crapshack. Got to school at 837a, went to two classes (the classrooms are right next to each other in the ILC - or as I call it The Library Underground. Ok, so I don't really call it that. I just thought of it and I found it funny. Makes it sound all rave-ish. That's right. I go to class in a Rave. *waves glow sticks around* Aren't you jealous?!)

Then I went to the bookstore, picked up books, got upset that they don't sell my favorite pens anymore *stomps foot down and chuffs*, walked to the car, picked up my parking permit sticker at the parking building... My three bettas were in the car the whole time - they love to travel. :oP No really - they do fine traveling in the car. Then the fishies and I went home.

So I got home, I was unloading the car when Roomy decides to talk my ear off. *rolls eyes*

A little while later, Roomy was making tacos and I was going to the grocery store so he asked me if I wanted to pick him up a few items (and he'd take the amount off my rent). I agreed - no sense in us both going. When at the store, I realized I had forgotten my debit card holder at home, but luckily I had $16 cash. I bought his food, went home, got my card holder, went back to the store, bought my food, drove home, pulled into the garage and realized I forgot one bag of food at the store. So I went back to the store, the guy gave me the bag, I went home. I started to make my food, but I forgot the scissors in my studio. I went to my studio, sat down at the desk, signed onto AOL, and walked back to the kitchen - without the scissors. So then I went back to my studio, grabbed the scissors, opened the pasta, and put it in the pot on the stove. Then I was going to chop the tomatoes, but I couldn't find my cutting board. I looked ALL over the kitchen - even in the cabinets, but no board. I asked Roomy if I could borrow his, he said yes, and I walked back into the kitchen. I grabbed his cutting board, put it down by the tomatoes just as angelic music accompanied by bombastic light beams blasted down upon me - my cutting board was on the counter under the tortillas. *deadpan stare* WTF, man! I mean, come on!

Sheeps... Beeves... Neighs...

*sigh* I miss the sheeps, beeves, and neighs. They are so cute! Especially when they run over to you (like in the picture below)!



Many of you know that I was in Iowa recently (July 31 - August 14) and that is why I haven't posted anything. I was too busy having fun watching movies, seeing new towns, taking pictures, and just a bunch of crap. :o) It was suPOIB.

I'll have to post more about it later because lunch is ending.

Oh yeah, I'll be back in school as of Monday, so it'll be back to normal updates as of then.

:oP